So what do we do? We subconsciously (or consciously) try and take back control, place the blame somewhere, and more importantly, fix the problem ourselves. (Throw in some irrational thinking brought on by the hormones and you’ve made it even more entertaining!) And instead of putting it in G-d’s hands, and trusting our doctors, we find ourselves Googling and trying some crazy stuff because we just can’t accept that it’s not up to me. Rather, there must be something I can do to affect the outcome and achieve the results I want.
Here are some things I’ve attempted to “fix” myself (Please comment below to add your theories):
This experience has taught me that sometimes, success has little/nothing to do with hard work. It may have to do with G-d’s plan, luck, chance, karma, whatever you believe in. And as hard and hard as we try, there may be nothing we can do to change it. I’ve seen it in the work I do too. Following a breast cancer diagnosis, many women question if a lifestyle change-more exercise, less stress, healthier diet- could have prevented the cancer. And often, there’s no answer and no one to blame. But the very best thing we can do is accept that we (and our amateur Internet research) are not the experts on any of this. Instead, find a health care provider you feel good about and make the conscious decision to trust them. And then, learn to sit in the passenger seat and “enjoy” the ride, instead of trying to be a backseat driver. Find a release - something you enjoy. Take up an art class, join zumba, go for a jog outside, meet up with a friend for coffee. Whatever it is, find a healthy outlet.
May G-d give you the strength to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Someone recently asked me what the most difficult thing about this journey is and my initial answer was “Duh, not being able to get pregnant”. But then I realized, that’s not it. It’s not even the shots or early mornings. For me personally, it’s about not having any control. That no matter what I do or try, I’m essentially powerless. Thank G-d, with hard work, I’ve been able to achieve most things I’ve wanted in life and yet with this, I have no say. My body just doesn’t want to cooperate and no matter how hard I “work” towards my goal, it’s not in my control.
Here are some things I’ve attempted to “fix” myself (Please comment below to add your theories):
- When I had retained tissue after my D&C, I drank a ton of parsley infused water and Emergen-C because apparently it can help to induce miscarriage
- I bought BPA free water bottles because a study came out linking BPA to miscarriage
- I drank pomegranate juice daily for 2 weeks because it’s rumored to promote uterine lining
- I became gluten free (although I cheated often and then finally quit) because someone said that it's possible to have an undiagnosed gluten sensitivity that can cause infertility
- I exercised more, and then less
- I almost started acupuncture, until I decide I get poked and prodded enough
- Someone also suggested eating pineapple core, which I haven’t yet done, because apparently it breaks up the protein that inhibits embryo implantation..who knows
This experience has taught me that sometimes, success has little/nothing to do with hard work. It may have to do with G-d’s plan, luck, chance, karma, whatever you believe in. And as hard and hard as we try, there may be nothing we can do to change it. I’ve seen it in the work I do too. Following a breast cancer diagnosis, many women question if a lifestyle change-more exercise, less stress, healthier diet- could have prevented the cancer. And often, there’s no answer and no one to blame. But the very best thing we can do is accept that we (and our amateur Internet research) are not the experts on any of this. Instead, find a health care provider you feel good about and make the conscious decision to trust them. And then, learn to sit in the passenger seat and “enjoy” the ride, instead of trying to be a backseat driver. Find a release - something you enjoy. Take up an art class, join zumba, go for a jog outside, meet up with a friend for coffee. Whatever it is, find a healthy outlet.
May G-d give you the strength to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.