To tell you the truth, I have been struggling to decide how to share my news. Part of me wants to yell it from the rooftops but the other part of me is guarded and nervous (more to come in a later post). But more than that, I’ve been trying to be sensitive to those still in the midst of their journey. You see, when you’re in it, it’s hard to see the end result. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and to believe that one day, you too will experience the blessing. Sometimes, you lose hope. So while I’m excited for myself, I don’t forget the difficulties of those still struggling.
In the past few months, when close friends and family shared their exciting pregnancy news, they would often tell me “I was so nervous to tell you” or “we were so worried about how’d you react”. This, on top of everything, was the most difficult thing to hear. Because despite my struggle, there is no reason why I’d be anything less than 1,000% thrilled! For me at least, I never experienced jealousy. I’ve always been absolutely ecstatic for those around me. However, there is always a part of you that questions “when will it be my turn?” It’s not malicious. It’s human. And so I know that you are happy for me but understand, that I also know it’s somewhat difficult to hear. And I know that it may change our relationship. But I share this with you anyway because I pray it gives you faith and optimism. It is for this reason, that this blog will continue. Because although I’m in a new phase, people must be reminded they are not alone and that there’s hope. And because, the journey is still so complex. So I will continue to write and hope that you can, one day, realize that it WILL happen-it’s just a matter of when and how. I know, you're thinking "easy for you to say now". So just know that in the meantime, I pray that everyone’s requests, whatever they may be for, are answered. And I thank you again for your love, prayers, and support.